Short Funny Quotes
This page is a collection of Short Funny Quotes.
It's important to take time to laugh through out the day. Being silly and learning to laugh at yourself can go a long way. It can help you reduce stress, improve your health, and lighten your day.Laugh when you can
it is cheap medicine.
Take a few minutes to enjoy the following Short Funny Quotes and Short Funny Sayings.
I can resist everything except temptation.
Why do people say "no offense"
when they're about to offend someone?
Of all the things I've lost,
I miss my mind the most.
Constipated people don't give a crap.
Never go to bed mad.
Stay up and fight.
The only constant is change.
The trouble with being punctual
is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
-Franklin P. Jones
Don't be irreplaceable.
If you can't be replaced,
you can't be promoted.
Change is inevitable,
except from a vending machine.
My wife was too beautiful for words,
but not for arguments.
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined
Always remember that you're unique.
Just like everyone else.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
-Harry S. Truman
I'm trying to read a book on how to relax,
but I keep falling asleep.
Thank God I’m an atheist.
Buy land. They've stopped making it.
Avoid hangovers: stay drunk.
I'm an excellent housekeeper.
Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
-Zsa Zsa Gabor
Marriages are made in heaven.
But so again, are thunder and lightning.
Adults are just obsolete children.
My idea of an agreeable person
is a person who agrees with me.
When all else fails, read the instructions.
Never put off till tomorrow
what you can avoid doing entirely.
Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
I'm single by choice. Not my choice.
Short Funny Quotes - Related Pages
Inspirational Funny Quotes
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