Cute Funny Quotes

This page is a collection of Cute Funny Quotes.

Funny quotes are a great way to make you smile or cheer up a friend. Read through the quotes below to lighten up your day. As you read and laugh, you'll be amazed at how much wisdom is contained in some of these Funny Quotes and Cute Funny Sayings.

If you steal from one author, it's plagiarism;
if you steal from many, it's research.
-Wilson Mizner

I don't understand why Cupid
was chosen to represent Valentine's Day.
When I think about romance,
the last thing on my mind is a
short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.

Advice is what we ask for
when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
-Erica Jong

Always and never are two words
you should always remember never to use.
-Wendell Johnson

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute,
and it seems like an hour.
Sit with a pretty girl for an hour,
and it seems like a minute.
THAT'S relativity.

Never tell your problems to anyone,
20% don't care and the other 80%
are glad you have them.
-Lou Holtz

I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh,
but I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry.
-Cat Stevens

We never really grow up.
We just learn how to act in public.

It's always darkest before the dawn.
So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper,
that's the time to do it.

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe
is that it has never tried to contact us.
-Bill Watterson

Nothing is as frustrating
as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.
-Sam Ewing

Life doesn't imitate art,
it imitates bad television.
-Woody Allen

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
-Gloria Steinem

My grandfather likes to give me advice,
but he's a little forgetful.
One day, he took me aside
and left me there.
-Steven Wright

We don't stop playing because we grow old;
we grow old because we stop playing.
-George Bernard Shaw

Adults are always asking kids
what they want to be when they grow up
because they are looking for ideas.
-Paula Poundstone

A babysitter is a teenager acting like an adult
while the adults are out acting like teenagers.

Life is like an onion:
You peel it off one layer at a time,
and sometimes you weep.
-Carl Sandburg

Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up,
but a comedy in long-shot.
-Charlie Chaplin

When a girl marries
she exchanges the attentions of many men
for the inattention of one.
-Helen Rowland

The 50-50-90 rule:
anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right,
there's a 90 per cent probability you'll get it wrong.
-Andy Rooney

Cute Funny Quotes - Related Pages

Inspirational Funny Quotes

Positive Quotes

Wisdom Quotes

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