Funny quotes are a great way to make you smile or cheer up a friend. Read through the quotes below to lighten up your day. As you read and laugh, you'll be amazed at how much wisdom is contained in some of these Cute Funny Quotes and Cute Funny Sayings.
If you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research. -Wilson Mizner
I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon. -unknown
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. -Erica Jong
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. -Wendell Johnson
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity. -Einstein
Never tell your problems to anyone, 20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them. -Lou Holtz
I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry. -Cat Stevens
We never really grow up. We just learn how to act in public. -unknown
It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. -unkown
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. -Bill Watterson
Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about. -Sam Ewing
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television. -Woody Allen
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. -Gloria Steinem
My grandfather likes to give me advice, but he's a little forgetful. One day, he took me aside and left me there. -Steven Wright
We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. -George Bernard Shaw
Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas. -Paula Poundstone
A babysitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers. -unknown
Life is like an onion: You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep. -Carl Sandburg
Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot. -Charlie Chaplin
When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one. -Helen Rowland
The 50-50-90 rule: anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 per cent probability you'll get it wrong. -Andy Rooney
